Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My vagina is officially offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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