I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There r osticjed everywhere
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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