At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
