Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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