how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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