Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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