We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
