Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
