Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My vagina is officially offended.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
