my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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