if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
