I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
