She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
