You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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