I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
