The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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