I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
