perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
