if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
