Please, let me fuck your mom
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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