I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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