I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
nutella sex= disaster
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
