Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize