this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
