The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Boobs speak an international language.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Randomize
