Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
