You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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