Whod you bang
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
