Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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