i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
there is glitter all over my balls
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
