Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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