It's like God shit irony all over that family
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
