new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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