but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
