kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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