Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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