I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize