ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
