Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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