doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
