I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Randomize