I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
