Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Your dad touched me again.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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