when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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