I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
