they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
