I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
