fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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