it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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