I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
