...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
