I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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