you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
