This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
