ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
