she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
