So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
