Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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