i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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