the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
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i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
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Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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