brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
