Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
