I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
