you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
