Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
