drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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