This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
