For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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