the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
